


The Kenma Counter

by simokitten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, he has HAD ENOUGH, kai quotes vines that keep him from ending it all, oh also a tiny mention of bokuaka maybe if you squint, there's some minor daisuga here but mostly just neko boys, yaku hates his team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simokitten/pseuds/simokitten
Summary: Kuroo had the strange habit of mentioning Kenma any chance he got.The boys started counting.The boys started discussing the wildest topics hoping Kuroo wouldn't find a way to bring Kenma up.The boys give up.





	The Kenma Counter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [todxrxki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/gifts).

> This is solely based on a tweet by the lovely @todxrxki,,,,  
It's also really short and kinda stupid, I can't believe this is the first fic I've written in like eight years.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy uwu

It had started on a Wednesday.

They sat around after practice and talked a little, as you do, when Kuroo excused himself to go over to Kenma _to see how he was doing_.

“Guys,” Yaku stage-whispered, “did you notice how much he talks about Kenma?”

“He just really likes him,” Lev said. Everyone stared at him.

“There's like, a line, and he crossed it.”

“Yeah, he will bring him up any way he can, even if it's completely unrelated.”

“Hey Kuroo!,” Yamamoto yelled. “What's your favourite pie?”

“Apple!,” Kuroo yelled back, “Because it's Kenma's favourite!”

“Oh my god,” Lev whispered.

After their realisation it had become a game.

_Who could make Kuroo bring up his best friend in the most ridiculous conversations _wasn't the best title and they were still working on it. Yaku had gotten a little notebook he put in his bag to count Kuroo's mentions in tally marks. Thirty-seven this week alone. It was Tuesday.

“Kuroo, don't you think it's time for you to get yourself some new shoes?” - “Maybe you're right. Did you know Kenma has tiny feet?”

“Kuroo, do you like Marvel movies?” - “I do, can you believe Kenma hasn't seen Black Panther yet?”

“Hey Kuroo, there's this new movie coming out next week-” - “Oh, do you think Kenma would like it?”

And once he had leaned over them when they were collectively trying to figure out how to open Lev's water bottle for a refill after he had screwed it shut too tight. “Hey guys, did you see the cat video Kenma retweeted last night?” Inuoka blinked up at him. “I don't think I follow him actually?” Kuroo gasped as if he had just insulted his ancestors.

“This is ridiculous.”

“I've had enough of this dude,” Kai said. The rest of them groaned in agreement.

“Hey guys, what's wrong?,” Kuroo asked. They turned away.

It had been bad before. It had been horrible before.

It had somehow gotten worse when they started dating.

Kenma had been on Kuroo's mind always anyway. Now it had gotten so bad other teams started to notice as well.

“Hello y'all.” They turned and twisted to stare up at Sugawara leaning over them with a scary little smile. “Can I ask you something?”

They just nodded.

His smile turned into a full-blown grin. “Nice! So, I was wondering, is there anything going on between your captain and setter? Just asking because he seems to be all Kuroo-san's talking about.”

Horror settled in and they just stared, wide-eyed.

“Haha,” Suga finished lamely.

“Nothing's going on of course,” Yaku all but yelled. The others nodded vehemently.

“Oh. I just thought they could join our club of captains dating setters. Anyway. Tell him to focus on the game more. It's getting a bit distracting. Later!” And he turned around to skip across the gym.

“Did he just come out?,” Inuoka asked.

Suga looked over his shoulder and winked. _Oh_.

“We should have said something. Maybe he could have helped?”

“This house is a fucking nightmare,” Kai whispered.

It ended when Kuroo and Kai were discussing strategies when Kenma was sick and had been staying home for a week.

“Kuroo, do you really think this is a good idea?”

“Of course I do. Kenma came up with it.”

Yaku screeched and punched Lev reflexively. “I can't take this anymore!,” he yelled. “This is ridiculous! I know we all joke about it but enough is enough!” He jumped up from where he had been sitting and pointed at Kuroo.

“This has to stop or I swear to god I'm gonna quit.”

Kuroo blinked at him. “What?”

Lev approached, looking from Kuroo to Yaku, silently asking if he should hold him back.

“You guys joke about me? I'm hurt.”

“It's just getting a bit out of hand,” Inuoka tried.

“You always talk about Kenma. No matter what, you always find ways to bring him up. We may be a bit frustrated.”

“I'm sure he can see that,” Teshiro said, gesturing to Yaku who was foaming at the mouth.

Kuroo cackled, doubling over.

They all stared at him in disbelieve.

“We thought you guys would never notice”, Kuroo said when he had calmed down, a devilish smile on his face. “This has been going on for _so_ long and you never said anything. I thought you were just dense.”

Yaku screeched again, and this time Lev did hold him back.

**Author's Note:**

> (if u wanna be friends and chat, my twitter is @ _reenee uwu)


End file.
